finality

We got word yesterday that the final results were back on the cause of Austin's death, or rather the lack of results. Other than knowing it was a virus that took our child, we have no other answers. It is frustrating, worry some, and yet not having answers is an answer in itself.

Sometimes man can't explain what God can. Some things are just not meant for us to know. No matter how advanced our technology is now, God is still more powerful - and all-knowing. I have to just put my faith in that. Not having a "reason" tells Tim and me that it was just God's plan. I don't understand it and many days I don't agree with it but I trust in him.

And if this is how it had to be, I am grateful that he passed painlessly, quickly. He didn't suffer with illness as so many children do. He wasn't involved in some tragic accident. Austin left for a bike ride around our neighborhood and ended up in Heaven.

His life was never filled with pain or tragedy. His memories are of a carefree childhood. His memories are of exploring the world, fearlessly learning new things, and the innocence and simplicity that comes with youth.

Today, Austin's monument is being installed. Everything seems so "final" now. There is nothing left for us to do, no more tasks to accomplish for him, no more news to hear. I feel emptier knowing this. All we can do for him now is remember him. All we can do now is hope his spirit lives on in others, that he continues to inspire. All we can do now is continue to love him, even though he isn't here.