I was cleaning out old emails the other day and found one from Austin when he was around 10, the same age as Noah now. Those little surprise finds, like notes from Heaven, are so comforting to the soul. They lift you up when you least expect it and sometimes when you need it most.
His email was short but sweet and I'll treasure it always:
"hay mom i love you and hope we can do something togather after work and i think your the best."
Reading that one line can bring back so many memories for me. For one, it makes me know how much loved me. Austin didn't just say it in an email, he told me daily. I can picture his sweet face, hugging me first thing in the morning, in the car, or greeting me when I arrived home. It was always followed with an "I love you, Mom".
When I read the line about doing something together I can recall so many happy moments of just Austin and me. We frequently had "Mom & Austin" days to do whatever - go to a movie, out to eat, or just for a drive. It didn't matter what we were doing, it was just fun to be together. That he thought so too and looked forward to it fills my soul with warmth and love.
And the last five words - "I think your the best"...what Mom doesn't want to hear that? What will always stick with me, even on days when he feels so far away, is that he didn't just love me, he liked me. He enjoyed hanging out with me. Heck, at times he even thought I was pretty cool!
It makes me think back to one of our favorite "Mom & Me" activities - Guitar Hero. Now, when I first bought the game for him, it wasn't meant to be for us to play together. When the game came out, like all kids his age, he had to have it. Austin had played it at friends houses and loving music anyway, it was a natural fit. I don't remember what holiday we bought it but it was hands down his favorite gift.
I was walking past his room one day while he was playing and began singing whatever song was on. He was surprised I knew the song, not realizing it was classic rock, one of my favorite genres. After awhile he jokingly said, "You should try this." I'm sure he thought it would be a good laugh at least. However, I surprised him (and myself) by doing pretty good, especially for a first attempt. And that is all it took to get me hooked.
It didn't take me long to get the hang of it and after awhile, I could easily beat his scores. I don't know if he liked that at first but he did say it was pretty cool his Mom could finally beat him in a video game. What he loved most though was using me as a secret weapon when friends or family came over.
Like him, nobody guessed a "Mom" would be good at Guitar Hero. He would play for awhile with friends and when I'd walk by, he'd say to them, "I bet you can't beat my Mom"...or do it as a full on joke, "Let's see if we can talk my Mom into trying it." Then, he'd set back and watch the expressions of his friends when I rocked it! I can still hear him laughing and see that full beautiful smile.
So many wonderful memories...all from a single line in an email. What touches me most is how he knows just when to nudge me or send me some small message from above, letting me know he still loves and thinks about his Mom.