In Loving Memory

  • Remembering my beloved child, Austin, who passed away at the early age of 14. He lived more in those 14 short years than most and is an inspiration to us all.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

An Accidental Blessing

Austin wasn't planned, at least not when it happened. To say it was an "accident" makes it seem as if it were unwanted. That wasn't the case at all; however, it just didn't happen on our timeline, it happened on God's.

Tim and I had planned to be married awhile and I wanted to finish school and get a good job before having children. (You never think you have enough money to start a family.) We were certainly poor then in the terms of money but Austin brought so many riches into our lives!

I was babysitting my little sister, Raven, the day I decided to take the pregnancy test. A part of me already knew but I took the test to make sure. I didn't want Raven to know what I was doing, in case there weren't two pink lines on the stick, so I told her I was testing our water. Moments later I sent her outside to find Tim. She ran up to him yelling, "Uncle Tim, the toilet water's clean!" When he entered the house and saw my face, he knew. Our lives were changed forever.

My pregnancy wasn't easy, the last few months I spent on bed rest, as we tried to prolong delivery. Not that we lived that far from Owensboro, but just to be safe, the days before I expected to deliver, we stayed with my grandmother so we'd be closer to the hospital.

The labor was hard and scary for a first-time, young mother. Fourteen hours later, my little miracle was born. Austin didn't cry and I held my breath, waiting. Tim and I could see the concerned looks on the hospital staff's faces. The doctor held up two fingers, which we later discovered meant he had the cord around his neck twice. It was a scary beginning but thankfully, Austin was ok. He was 7 lbs, 5 oz of perfection.

The first year was a whirlwind, going faster than we'd ever imagined. Austin reached all the milestones weeks and months before he should have. As I review his baby book, nearly every entry includes a comment about his smile, or how happy he was. I wonder if he knew how happy he made us.

There are many things in Austin's life I would go back and change, if I could. The biggest one of course would be to have him still here with us. However, we aren't in control. I would have never planned to have had a baby as young or newly married as we were. I would have never planned to raise a child, and juggle college and jobs and saving for our first house. But look at what God's plan gave us - a beautiful, wonderful child that we were blessed to share 14 years with. Some "accidents" aren't accidental at all, just not on our timeline. It is those unplanned gifts from God that are the sweetest.

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