In Loving Memory

  • Remembering my beloved child, Austin, who passed away at the early age of 14. He lived more in those 14 short years than most and is an inspiration to us all.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

the little yellow butterfly

"We are like butterflies who flutter for a day and think it is forever."

I have always enjoyed watching butterflies but they seem to be a little more special these days. Lately, I feel like I'm being followed by a little yellow butterfly. And whether there is really any connection, it makes me think of Austin, and I smile.

I've noticed that this little yellow butterfly seems to always flutter by whenever I am down. It flitters around me when I'm visiting Austin's grave. It floats in front of my truck on my lonely drive home from work each afternoon. It dances in the yard as I walk back from checking the mail and waiting for Noah to arrive on the bus.

This little butterfly always seems to know just when to appear. Instantly, I am lifted up and put at ease, if only for a moment. It makes me feel like Austin is there, checking in, hugging me with his sweet spirit.

"Happiness is a butterfly, which when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you."

Yellow was one of Austin's favorite colors. Yellow looked great on him, a contrast to his pitch black hair. One of his favorite shirts was a yellow t-shirt advertising an ice cream shop in Evansville. He won it at a Otters game and wore it so much it went from vibrant yellow to a pale, muted color. And the color just represents his presence - yellow is sunny and cheerful, yellow is friendly, yellow is warm. All of those are who Austin was.

I was surprised to learn this week that a butterfly's life is a short one. For most, butterflies live less than a week. The fact that I've seen a little yellow butterfly so often made this new found knowledge all the more special.

"The butterfly counts not months but moments, and has time enough."

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