I don't know what is harder - the cold, depressing days of Winter because you are stuck in the house and all you do is think; or, sunny Spring days which remind you of fun times.
As Spring approaches, I'm flooded with memories of Austin. Somehow, seeing God's beautiful creations through blooming trees and flowers, makes me feel more connected to Austin. I think you are somewhat closer to Heaven when you are surrounded by nature. I try to imagine, when seeing a smiling patch of daffodils or a burst of pink buds on a dogwood tree, what beauty Austin sees now.
Flowers especially bring back fond memories of motherhood and precious bouquets given to me by him. As a toddler, he loved picking flowers for me and I would chuckle at the choices he sometimes made. He was in awe of dandelions when they were in "cloud puff" form and loved to swish through them, sending them flying. He also loved picking them one by one and blowing away the clouds with puffy cheeks. Austin didn't know they were really a weed; they just made him happy, and so he enjoyed picking them for me. And I treasured every one.
As he grew older, he began picking daffodils, especially at my Mom's house. The fields by her farm are filled with them this time of year so the bouquets were endless. It took a few years of practice for him to learn to pick them at the bottom though. Those early years, I learned to put the shortened versions in drinking cups, which were a better size vase for the buds! We enjoyed adding food coloring to the different vases and then watching them transform. It was a tradition I passed down to him from my Mom, as it was a pleasant childhood memory of mine.
In the past few years, he began helping me more and more in the yard. Especially after my wreck, he was my "knees" for weeding and digging in the flower beds to plant new blooms. As I look at my winter-worn beds and flower boxes, I am reminded of our Spring-time traditions and that I now miss. When I plant new flowers this year, it will be with teary eyes and I guess that will be their first "watering" of the season.